I dont know where the next road goes
by Jena Rink
Summary: Tommy's in Montana...Jude's got writers block...Sadie and Kwest have been dating in secret...and that's just the start of the drama to unfold in season 3...my way....Hope you like it. It's cannon...so I'll try and keep it straight...Jena
1. Chapter 1

**_I don't know where the next road goes…_**

By Jena Rink

I'm going to categorize this as a cannon work in process…

That was spurred by paper procrastination and the seemingly lack of work ethic I have to start a paper that is due in 12 hours. A lot can happen in twelve hours. I'm also going to attribute this creation to watching the season finale.

Ps- I don't own instant star…yeah…just the story that is spinning from the end of season two….and into my own twisted season three….

I love Tommy and Jude

I love Sadie and Kwest

And I heart Jamie and Patsy….

So expect those…

Considering I'm trying to make this cannon….

You should. Lol.

Expect lots of drama.

I love you guys…I promise I'll write a new chapter for Colorblind really soon.

I promise I promise I promise.

I wrote a song today for this fic.

So it's going to be in it.

Jude was lacking of all inspiration. It was as if the well had dried up. She sat on her bed, a towel over her blonde locks and in her pajamas, staring between the blank page of her new journal and her cellphone. Funny how they made her think about the same thing. Tommy was a closed book as far as she was concerned. It had been three months. Three long, agonizing months. After the at least 100 messages she had left him, she'd given up. She didn't want to open the floodgates and write a song about him. So she fell back on Mason, her almost brother at this point. They talked daily. More than once a day usually, and she'd flown out twice to hang out with him on his tour, trying to rid herself of all things Tommy. Her latest decision was summer school to finish high school early, and to immancipate herself from her parents, whom were becoming more distant every day. She felt like an adult, for once in her life. If only she could piece things together.

Her phone rang, and she picked it up.

"Mason?" she questioned, and he grinned.

"How'd you know it was me…"

"Cuz it's ten thirty.."she reminded him, leaning back against her pillows.

"Anything yet?"

"Nope…"she said sourly, and tapped her pen against the blank page, her eyes scrolling over the left side of the page.

"Some of us go to our graves with our music still inside of us…screw you…Quincy…"she said offhandedly, "He wont even return my phone calls Mason…he didn't call to congradulate me…and he sure as hell didn't…"

"I've got an idea…"Mason said suddenly, sitting up, and she frowned.

"What kinda idea…Fox?"she responded, and he grinned.

"Were going to date.."he said suddenly, and she almost choaked on her own air, about to start laughing.

"But you're…"

"I know…but Tommy will get jealous..you know how he gets when you even look at other guys.."he paused,"And I need a girlfriend before the rumors start flying…"

"I don't know.."Jude said softly, and thought about it for a minute,"We couldn't tell anyone.."

"Darius would go crazy…the perfect personality stunt for the studio.."he reminded her.

"Oh…fine…"Jude mumbeled, and glanced at the doorway.

"I'll talk to you in the morning Fox…"she said softly, staring at Sadie, "You gonna be up for Grammy nominations?"

"Up listening…or up actually getting nominated?" I joked, leaning my head against the pillows and staring at Sadie, who was grinning at me.

"You're going to be nominated..Judas.."he joked and she blushed.

"That's sweet…but…"

"I hear for best new single and new artist…and best producer.."

"Mason…I gotta go…"Jude whined,"I'll congradulate YOU tomorrow when you get a nod…get some rest…the road calls…"

"The schoolwork beckons.."he said back sarcastically.

"Ew, don't remind me…I'll see you this weekend.."she hung up, and stared at Sadie.

"What's up, Sades?" I asked, and she shrugged.

"I was wondering if you'd hit a creative streak yet?"

"Maybe if I ever hear his voice again.."she covered her mouth. Why the hell had she said that.

"How we ever let a boy get between us…I'll never know…"Sadie said softly, and sat next to her on the bed, putting an arm around Jude's shoulders,"You've got a meeting in the morning after class…Jude.."

"And summer school! Yay!"she responded cattily, and Sadie smiled.

"Get some rest…"she told her, and Jude nodded, waiting till she was gone to climb out her window and onto the roof, laying back and staring at the stars above her.

She just wanted this dry spell to end. She finished all the songs she'd written on tour, much to Darius' insistence, and released an EP of those last week. Kwest had produced it…but now she had nothing to record. And no inspiration. Because her inspiration was gone. Don't think about him, don't think about him, don't think about him...think about what the hell you're going to do to save your career. She continued the mindless eternal diolauge until she could hardly keep her eyes open, and crawled back in the window, falling asleep with her clothes still on.

She had no idea that someone was thinking the same thing about her, many eyes away. Of course she wouldn't. He was dead to her, though he still lingered in her thoughts. And as much as Tommy tried to forget her, he couldn't keep her out of his mind.

"Daddy?"

"Oui mon cherie,"he called softly, and lifted her into his arms, hugging her tightly. She spent every waking moment with him now. And that was the way it was going to have to be. Despite how much he loved her and never got the chance to tell her. He was going to tell her that night. And then she died. He leant against his headboard, staring down at her.

"What are we going to do today?"she questioned, and he kissed her nose.

"I have to go into work…at the studio…do you want to come with me?"he asked her, and she nodded.

"To work on your music daddy?"

"On my music…mon cherie.."he lifted her up, and and set her on the bed next to him, grabbing the remote and flipping on cartoons.

"Scooby Doo!"she squealed, and he rolled his eyes, walking towards the bathroom. It was going to be a long day. A long day where he struggled to not think about her. She stopped calling him. And it cut him off to everything but Addie. Addie and her smile, which was so much like her mothers.

"Good morning sunshine.."Pasty remarked sarcastically, and Jamie shot up, leaning against her and glancing around his office. He'd gotten an actual office.

"Oh…shit…Patsy..grab your clothes.."he said frantically, and pulled his shirt over his head. He'd been spending a lot of late nights at the studio lately, and as much as he didn't want to admit it hadn't really been around Jude at all.

Ever since her album hit number one she'd been a complete loner. With summer school, and locking herself in her room for hours yet coming out with nothing but a blank stare. She was a zombie.

"It's ten to eight.."

"You have an extra outfit in the closet…doofus…and I wear the same thing all the time…nobody will notice…"she kissed him lightly on the lips, and left the office, leaving the door open.

He scrambled to get changed, and walked out of the office, meeting Patsy in the coffee room.

"Cream snookums?"she asked him seriously, and he rolled his eyes.

"Come on…we have songs to record…"he told her,"And you need to warm up…"

"Can you warm me up?"she asked him, completely deadpanned, and pulled him into Studio C, closing the door and locking it, kissing him harshly.

"That's not what I meant.."he got out in between kisses.

"Sure it wasn't…"she said,"Get to work…"she kicked him out the door, and closed it, belting out notes as he stared at the door in complete confusion.

A long time ago Jamie had reasoned that a large part of being with Patsy was confusion. He had no idea who she was. And that intrigued him immensely.

"Wipe the lippy off your face Andrews…"Sadie told him, walking by and to the front desk, sitting behind it. She was thinking about Kwest. They'd been dating in secret for over a month now. She was happy, but she hated to see Jude this miserable. It killed her to see her sister a shell of who she once was. And it was all because of Little Tommy Quincy. The same boy that had broken her heart.

"Good morning.."Kwest said softly, and grinned at her, walking towards the studios.

"Morning.."she responded, instantly perking up.

And yet Liam was still making the moves on her. This was a dilemma. A very big dilemma. She didn't want to lose her job, and she didn't want to lose Kwest. And Kwest had no idea.

"Watching the clouds pass, my heart's beating so fast, Time has caught up chasing after me…"Tommy sang into the microphone, watching Addie play with building blocks. He stopped singing moments later, and turned back to his producer.

"Whats up T? You wanna switch mics?"Chaz asked, leaning against the soundboard. He looked frustrated, and Tommy couldn't blame him. This song was about Jude, and he hoped she would hear it.

"I just…can you get Ally to take her to the zoo for me? I can't sing this song when…"he motioned to Addie, and he nodded, poking his head out the door to the mixing booth, yelling.

"Hey, girl!"he called, and a tall twenty something teenager poked her head in the door. She was thin, and had dark brown hair and Tommy's eyes. Her skin was dark like his, and she was about his height.

"What is it?"she asked, her hands on her hips, glaring at Tommy. She was still mad at him. He couldn't blame her either.

"Wanna take Addie to the zoo for me? I'll take you to the mall next week and we can.."Tommy started, and she cut him off.

"Sure, Tommy.."she said softly, glancing at Addie, who had heard the word zoo and was visibly perking up.

"Thanks...Ally…I really appreciate it.."Tommy said, and Ally scooped Addie off the floor, and tickled her.

"The zoo! The zoo!"she squealed, and Chaz handed two hundred dollars to Ally.

"Spoil my goddaughter, would you?"he questioned, and Ally nodded.

"Auntie Ally! The zoo!" Addie squealed again, and Tommy watched them leave.

"Okay, you ready to try this? It's not going to work if you hold back…"Chaz asked him seriously, and Tommy nodded, trying to pull the emotions out of him that he felt in reference to the song he had written on the plane to Montana.

_Watching the clouds pass_

_My heart's beating so fast_

_Time has caught up_

_Chasing after mee_

_After love that I once knew_

_Those chances that I blew_

_Approaching my dark past_

_I see no escape_

_I was screaming inside_

_As I said my goodbyes_

_I just wanted to tell you _

_To break down and cry_

_Wrote you down to suppress this_

_These feelings I can't miss_

_Hiding the feelings that kill me inside_

_To keep you away_

_Put you in a safe place_

_No matter how much_

_It caused my heart to break_

_So sick of these lies_

_So confusing your eyes_

_You have all the rights_

_To criticize_

_You see past the lie_

_Your anger it hurts_

_And for what its worth_

_I'm still drowning in you_

_I was screaming inside _

_When I said my goodbyes_

_Just wanted to tell you_

_Erase all these lies_

_Wrote you down to suppress this_

_This love that I knew_

_Hiding the feelings that kill me inside_

_Wanna grab you and kiss you_

_Tell you that I miss you_

_It kills me to do this_

_I'm dying inside_

_The time has passed_

_Where love could cure all_

_Could erase all your pain_

_Where I could stop your long fall_

_I don't believe in happy endings_

_I don't believe in what the spring brings_

_I don't believe I'll ever love you more than I do now_

_The joy that I felt has all faded away_

_I'm sure you don't know_

_How hard it was for me to go_

_Staring at the missed calls_

_Feeling like I need to fall_

_Away from this nightmare_

_I wish you would have made me stay_

He finished the song, tears streaming down his face, and walked out of the studio. Chaz knew he had to release this. Jude had to know how he really felt. Because from the pictures of her she was feeling the same way he was. He put it on six cd's once it was mixed, and addressed them, hoping it would create a reunion between Jude and Tommy. They needed eachother. Any idiot could see that.

He just hoped it would work.

Likey? Me hope so! Please review!

And I might just…okay…I'll totally LOVE YOU!

Jena


	2. Chapter 2

I don't know where the next road goes

Chapter two- I wanna die

By jena rink

Same disclosure as before, my friends.

"Jude…hey…you gotta think of something…"Speid whined, and she raised her shoulders, grimacing, and leant against him, staring up at the summer sky. It was gorgeous out but she always felt like holing herself up in her room. Even the Grammy's had ceased to make her happy. J shaped pancakes from her mother, and hearing her album was still number one didn't do the trick either. She felt like no one understood what she was going through. And they didn't. They were trying to write, they'd been trying all lunch.

"How's about this…I can't think of a song…I can't think of a song…I've lost my inspiration my will to go on…everythings in black and white…and nothing seems right…grey's faded away at the end of the day…"she said sarcastically, her eyebrows raised and a scowl on her face.

"Jude…"Speid said softly, and she got up, grabbing her guitar case and her keys.

"We should get to the studio…you want a ride?"she asked him, and he nodded, climbing in next to her.

"What do you think the meeting's about?"Speid questioned, and Jude shrugged, driving towards GMajor, her mind elsewhere.

"I have no idea..the grammy nods?"she said quietly, and got up, walking through the doors. She hadn't been to the studio since the release party. It had been a long three months. A very long three months.

"You're seventeen and a half today!" Sadie told her from behind the desk, and she turned to frown at her. Sadie's smile vanished. She'd forgotten it was her half birthday. Sadie always paid attention to stuff like that. An extra holiday always meant more presents, whether it be a summer super soaker when they were six, or that new pair of bcbg shoes when she was 18. Jude always got guitars. She wasn't in the mood for much this year though.

"If you brought me a pink candle…"Jude warned, and rolled her eyes in agitation when Sadie pulled out a cupcake, her pink candle in it.

"You got nominated for two Grammys…"she told her,"You deserve the candle…"she said, lighting it.

"Make a wish…"Sadie told her, and Jude glanced around.

"I wish I was happy…"Jude said honestly, not realizing she had blurted it out, and paused for a moment.

"Jude, you're not happy?" Sadie questioned, and Jude stared at her like she was an idiot. Of course she wasn't happy! Anyone could see that!

"Woe betide me I'm alight with joy…"she responded lightly. Nothing made her happy anymore.

"I think you need a therapist…"Speid told her, and she whacked him on the arm.

"Ouch..maybe anger management.."he joked, following her into the conference room.

"Maybe I just need to kick your ass, Vincent.."she said through gritted teeth, and sat down next to Sadie at the staff table, staring at her cupcake.

She really did care. The Grammys…they were like the Oscar's…..and to even be nominated for one…She wondered if Tommy even knew he was nominated. He probably didn't care. So she resolved to put on a show that she didn't as well.

"So…we're here to congradulate Mason and Jude on their Grammy nods…"Darius said, and Jude glanced around her. Everyone expected her to make a speech or something? This was too crazy,"Do you have anything you want to say Jude?"

"Thanks for giving me a second chance…and a third…I think it may have been worth it?"she said, hoping that sounded alright.

"Anything for you girl…"Darius said, and she flinched at the word girl,"In addition we've received the nod for best production team…so Tommy and Kwest will be in Los Angeles as well for the ceremonies…"she couldn't listen to this.

"I suddenly feel inspired.."she realized, and got up.

"I haven't had a song idea in months…do you think I could…"she motioned out the door, and he smiled at her.

"At this rate you can do whatever you want…"Darius told her, and she flounced off to studio b, closing the door behind her and working on chords, her mind running all over the place.

_Hearing this news_

_This happy news_

_I cant help but want to share it with you_

_We crashed and burned _

_A long time ago_

_Because of your past_

_Feelings you wouldn't show_

_I thought you were different this time_

_Given me your heart you were mine_

_Guess that was a lie_

_Now I'm left here to cry_

_Broken memories_

_Broken hearts_

_Broken down inside_

_Backed into a corner_

_I just wanna die_

_You were so cold_

_Your words stung me like ice_

_Freezing over my heart_

_My ambitions_

_My life_

_You pushed the pause button_

_I wanna hit rewind_

_Go back to the start_

_Get it right this time_

_Broken memories_

_Broken hearts_

_Broken down inside_

_Backed into a corner_

_I just wanna die_

_Tis better to love and lost _

_Is bull_

_Mulling over the past wont solve my present_

_But I can't seem to shake this feeling_

_I stopped calling_

_But not falling_

_You played me then_

_You played me now_

_I have no control_

_When you're around_

_But when you're gone I can't breathe_

_That's just somewhere I don't wanna be_

_Broken memories_

_Broken hearts_

_Broken down inside_

_Backed into the corner_

_I just wanna die_

_Wanna scream_

_Wanna hide_

She took a deep breath, and leant against the wall of the studio, figuring out the chords.

"That…wow…"Kwest whispered, and she glanced up at him, tears streaming down her face.

"Ya think?"she said shakily, and he hugged her as she cried.

"Jude…it's gonna be okay…"he said gently, and she shook her head.

"I don't know how you can say that…"she murmered honestly, and she snorted.

"Darius wants you to go on the rest of the tour with Mason…Jude…"her head shot up, and she nodded.

"After summer school?"

"After summer school…you'd leave next Monday..and fly back home after the Grammys in September…" Kwest said, and she nodded. It seemed like the right choice.

"And the boys?"

"Will be recording their album…Darius wants it acoustic…a lighter side of you…since you've been so dark lately…he wants it to rely on you and your guitar…"

"Okay.."she said softly, playing with the guitar pick around her neck and refusing to meet his eyes.


	3. Oh my!

**_I don't know where the next Road Goes_**

Jena Rink

Part 3- Of busses and phone calls and theme parks oh my!

She woke up in her room on the bus, the city traffic making her want to throw up. Sometimes, she reasoned tiredly, making her way towards the shower, she shouldn't have so much Coffee and Pop Tarts. She was practically living off them, unless they stopped at a hotel and she could get room service. She groaned softly as the warm spray cascaded down her body, and twenty minutes later was dressed with the addition of a towel wrapped around her hair, staring out the window and humming under her breath.

"God some inspiration, Jude?" Mason questioned, and she smiled over at him,shaking her head.

"Surprisingly, lack thereof…"

"No anger?" he questioned, and she shrugged, leaning against the window again and staring out at the road.

"I can't just write a song that says screw you Quincy, can I?" she asked him blatantly, and he smiled.

"If you word it right…"Mason responded, a glint in his eye.

Four hours later, they were staring at the finished product, their eyes wide.

"Jude. this is…a hit…"

"You sound like Darius…all surprised I could actually make a hit…"Jude joked, and punched him lightly in the arm, staring at the lyrics. They were intense. And mean.

And she wanted to scream them at him over and over.

_Tired to trying to make you_

_Something you obviously_

_Don't wanna be_

_Thinking that it's cupid baby_

_Loving's made a fool outta me_

_Running from your problems baby_

_Theres not a real place you can hide_

_Try to call me up again_

_I'll tear you up and brush you aside_

_Moving on_

_Your chance is gone_

_Come crawling back_

_Just so I can say_

_Run away_

_Run away_

_Really did you think it'd be_

_That easy just to run and hide_

_When you still had feelings_

_All about me_

_Locked up deep inside_

_I just don't care_

_I wanna scream_

_Shout to the world_

_Baby made a fool outta me_

_Well now it's you_

_Moving on_

_You're chance is gone_

_Come crawling back_

_Just so I can say_

_Run away_

_Run away_

_Run away_

_Run away_

_I know its harder baby_

_You never showed you cared_

_And when saw me crying_

_All you could do was stare_

_Well guess what I don't need you?_

_Well guess what your chance is through!_

_I'm moving on with out you_

_Ohhhhhh Ohhhhhh_

_Moving on_

_You're chance is gone_

_Come crawling back _

_Just so I can say_

_Standing there_

_I so don't care_

_All I can say is _

_Run away_

_Run away_

_Run away_

_You Run Away_

"You should sing it…"

"I don't have a band…"Jude reminded him, and he sighed.

"I can teach it to mine…"he told her, and she nodded, grinning.

Los Angeles was going to get a run for their money.

At that point, her phone rang, and she picked it up lightly.

"Jude Harrison, how many I help you?" she joked, and narrowed her eyes when she got no response. Her mind immediately went to one person.

"Hello?" she questioned, annoyed," Listen you little pervert or whoever you are…."the man, it was a man, snorted, and she got angry," Okay who the hell are you you call me every day! Just say something!" she said, annoyed, clenching her teeth.

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't have called…", she froze

"Tommy?" she asked softly, her breath shaking. He hung up.

She was in a rage. She called his cell phone, and he didn't answer.

"Tommy, what the hell…."she burst out, and Mason winced," Are you scared to answer the phone? You're the one that called, actually, you're the one that's been calling, aren't you? You're the one that ran away! And since then, I've made all the effort, Quincy…"she said angrily," I was doing just fine until you started calling! I really don't get you…first you kiss me…then you ask me out…and then you leave…you were always good at running but my god! All the way to the US of A…props to you for leaving me alone…again…God you're such a child…I'm more grown up then YOU are!" she said, and took a deep breath," I just wrote a song about how I was over you, so give it up, Tommy Q…you already blew your last chance when you walked out on me three months ago…have a nice life…"she spat, and hung up the phone, her hand shaking.

She thought she'd feel better. But she felt numb.

"Jude?" Mason questioned, and she broke down in tears.

"You're gonna be fine…he's gone…"he said soothingly, rubbing her back," You can block his number…"

"I don't want to…God I'm such an idiot…"she murmured, and glanced up at him.

"You don't have to worry about Quincy, okay?"

"We're going to see him in a week.."she sobbed, the damn breaking. She felt like she could breathe again. But it almost hurt to. Holding herself back from feeling anything with Tommy had been so easy, but now that she'd heard his voice things were a different story.

"And you can sing that song…"he told her, and she nodded fitfully, scribbling aimlessly into her notebook, her eyes downcast. He had just ruined her perfectly good day. It was his specialty.

777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777

Meanwhile, Tommy was staring at the voicemail icon on his phone.

"Chaz…"he held out the phone silently.

"Whose it from?"he asked, pouring himself a mug of coffee.

"Her…"he muttered, leaning back in his lounge chair and downing the drink in front of him.

"Want me to ease the pain and listen to it for you?" Chaz said knowingly, and Tommy nodded, lost in his own thoughts. He shouldn't have said a damned thing.

"And here's the new single from Tom Quincy, ex-boybander and producer of Jude Harrison, the first Instant Star…"he glanced at the radio, and at Chaz, who shrugged.

"You sent it out?" Tommy questioned roughly, and got up, walking in the house.

"Tommy wait…"Chaz hung up the phone after the message.

"What?"

"I think you need to listen to it…"he said, and he nodded, picking up the phone and leaning against the wall in his study, staring at the one photo he had of her and him that was on his desk.

"Wow…"he breathed, putting it down.

"Tommy…she's hurting..it's not…"

"She's right…I should have told her…."Tommy said quietly,"I need to make a phone call…"he got up, and walked back outside, waiting impatiently

"G Major Records…"

"Sadie…"he said simply, and she snorted.

"You've got a lot of nerve, Quincy…"she said,"You want Darius or Kwest?"she added, staring at Jamie, who was signing something and had froze at the mention of Tommy's name.

"Kwest, if that's okay.."he said quietly, running a hand through his hair.

"Hello…"Kwest said non-chalantly, as he sat down in the recording booth.

"You're probably working overtime since I left…"Tommy commented, and Kwest sighed.

"Where the HELL…."he started, and Tommy cut him off.

"Sarah…I got the news the night I left…so Addie…she left Addie to me…God only knows why…."Tommy remarked softly,"I couldn't leave Addie without a parent…"

"Tommy…that's…."

"I know her mother hated me…"Tommy said quietly,"But the way Addie looks at me…shes three now…"he said softly,"And she loves Scooby Doo…and she comes to the studio with me…and…"

"It's good you went back, man…but you didn't handle it in the right way…Darius is mad…to say the least…"

"He called me about the Grammy's, I know how he feels…."Tommy remarked,"That I'm responsible for my artist and she's cracking without me, that his best producer just skipped out on him…I know how it looked…I didn't even tell her why…"

"She's on tour right now with Mason…"Kwest explained, and Tommy blanched.

"Why?"

"Apparently they're really close….writing songs together…hanging out twenty-four seven…so Darius just asked her to do an acoustic set with Mason on the rest of the tour, and she agreed…."

"And she'll be at the Grammy's?"he questioned tiredly.

"With Mason…"Kwest responded, and Tommy rolled his eyes.

"I'm not jealous, I left her without an explanation she had every right to move on…but that kiss…"he let it sleep, and mentally slapped himself.

"Back up a minute there…that KISS…you kissed her?"

"About a week before she left…when we were finishing the cd…"he said simply.

"Way to go man!" Kwest said uproariously, causing people to stare.

"Do you honestly think that matters to her now?"Tommy asked him,"I asked her out and then I left without telling her where I was going, why I was going, and that I probably wasn't coming back…I broke her heart…"

"It's taken you long enough to see that…"Kwest said,"I gotta get back to work, T…"

"I'll see you in a few days…I take it Darius is putting all of us up at the Georgetown?"

"Yep…"he hung up, and Tommy hung his head in defeat.

9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

"You feeling better?"

"I need more poptarts…"Jude grumbled, rolling over on her bed to face him, her expression somber.

"You're going to make yourself sick, Harrison.."he joked, tossing her a package, which she took no pretense with and stuffed into her mouth, trying not to laugh at the look on his face.

"That's disqusting.."she washed it down with coffee, and hit him lightly.

"It's lunch..that's what it is…"she told him seriously, and glanced out the window at the LA Skyline. They'd been at the hotel for about a week now, and she was trying to enjoy it to the fullest. She actually had somewhat of a tan, something she hadn't had in years, and had had her hair redone and highlighted.

"Can we go to Disneyland?"she asked Mason suddenly, and got up, straightening her clothes,"I wanna go to Disneyland"

"You're asking me this question? Of course I'll go with you…"he grabbed her hand lightly, and she grinned. She got a sick and twisted pleasure of knowing the paparazzi would follow them and Tommy would see them holding hands.

An hour later they were paying for their tickets. No one had recognized them yet, and for that Jude was a little thankful. It was a Friday afternoon, and god knew how many people were situated around the park that knew they were both Instant Stars.

"Indiana Jones?"she pouted, pulling him towards Frontierland. He just followed, in awe of how much energy she had. It must have been the coffee and poptarts. She'd been living off them like a lifeline.

"That was SO fun…"she breathed, and grabbed her camera, approaching a family.

"Hi, would you mind taking a picture of us?"she asked kindly, and the girl she had asked nodded, her eyes widening in recognition.

"Oh you're Jude Harrison!"she said, in amazement, and Jude shrugged her shoulders.

"It's nice to meet you…"

"Becky…"the girl said, shaking Jude's hand.

"Becky, this is Mason Fox…"Jude introduced them, and Becky's eyes widened.

"Oh wow…this is just…my friends are gonna be so jealous…"she held up the camera, and took a photo of them against the railing.

"Can I take a picture with you guys?" she asked, and Jude nodded, pulling her in front of them and handing her mother a camera.

"This is so nice of you too!" her mother gushed, as Jude and Mason both signed an autograph,"We don't want to keep you from your day….but thank you so much…it was so nice to meet you…"

"It was our pleasure.."Mason said, his arm going around Jude's shoulders, and they walked off.

"That girl was so sweet…"Jude gushed, and glanced up,"Oh my gosh the Haunted Mansion! We are so going on the Haunted Mansion…"she started pulling him towards it, and he sighed, following her.

"What's up with you and kiddy rides Harrison?"he joked, and she pouted in his direction.

"I like Kiddy rides! Wanna get those ice cream pops in the shape of Mickey Mouse? And then we can ride It's a small world!" she took off again, and he laughed, accepting the treat she gave him when she got back.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. They were exhausted and laughing hysterically when they got back to the hotel around seven, sunburnt and througoughly enjoying themselves.

"God I'm toasted…"

"Like those pop tarts you eat 24/7?" Mason joked,"At least we were always at the front of the line…we didn't have to wait for anything…"

"I don't think serenading the roller coaster attendant was the best way to get to the front of the line, Mace…"she joked, and he burst out laughing.

"You flirted with all the guy ones!"he pointed out.

"I have certain assets you can't compete with, Mason…"she said seriously, and at his look of incredulousness burst into laughter.

" Besides, You can only get so many fast pass-"she bumped into someone, and straightened up, Mason laughing and clutching at his sides.

"Oh my gosh I am so…"she trailed off, staring at Tommy, who was looking at her in shock, and grabbed Mason's hand, pulling him towards the elevator and upstairs, not glancing back. He just stared after her. He'd really screwed things up this time.

So, you like?

I don't own disneland either…I just go their a lot…

So it was a good setting

Thanks for your reviews!

Jena


	4. Chapter 4

I don't know where the next road goes

Tommy Time

Jena Rink

She was already a mess. It unnerved her so much that even seeing him in the room made her weak in the knees. Especially after what he had done to her. They got to the room, and Jude flung herself on the bed, pounding the mattress and screaming into it.

"You okay?" Mason asked, sitting next to her, a hand on her shoulder, and she finally looked up. She was crying. He sighed, and she rolled over, sitting up and leaning against him.

"It's okay to be upset, you know…"he told Jude, putting an arm around her shoulders and rubbing her arm gently.

"I knew he was coming…I knew I had to see him…but the way he looked at me…did you see the way he looked at me Mason?"she said softly, and screamed again, reaching from the pillow. Mason just let her, rubbing her back gently.

"Am I interrupting anything?" Sadie asked from the doorway, and Jude glanced up, putting down the pillow that was covering her face.

"Oh, Jude….you can't let him get to you…"she said, and sat on the other side of her, smiling at Mason,"He's an idiot for walking out on you like that…no matter what the reason was…"

"I know…I just…I missed him…I couldn't help but miss him…it was like every single thing that was the least bit happy made me sad again because I'd love to call him up and tell him about it…and I knew I couldn't…"she leant back, and stared at the ceiling, absorbed in how sad his eyes were. Tommy's eyes had always been windows to his soul. You could immediately see how he was feeling and intense those feelings were.

Seeing love and sadness in them only confused her more.

"Do you want to go out tonight?"she asked Mason suddenly, disappearing into the bathroom, Sadie following her.

"Jude…"she shook her head, ignoring Sadie.

"I wanna go out, and have fun, with my best friend…"she told them seriously, her hands on her hips,"And I wont take no for an answer…"she opened up her suitcase, and began throwing clothes left and right. Sadie caught a shirt as it flew through the air, and stared at it. It was Tommy's. A jacket he had probably let her borrow. She sighed, and folded it under her arm, giving Mason a look as she left the room. A look that plainly said take care of my baby sister.

"I'll go get ready then.."he said, and disappeared into the adjoining room, closing the door behind him. Only then did she let herself cry. His eyes. They weren't anything like when he left. Something was going on. There had to be a reason why he just… She turned on the radio, frustrated, and froze at the sound of his voice wafting over the speakers, seriously contemplating throwing the radio against the wall until it shattered. When the song finished, she felt numb again. And more confused then she had been before. What was he keeping from her? She was afraid to know the answer.

"You almost ready?" Mason called, and she threw on a dark blue dress she'd bought days ago with Portia and some shoes, grabbing her diamond earrings and necklace off the table by the bed.

"All set!" she called, a few minutes later, and opened the door.

"So, what do you think?"she asked him seriously, fastening her shoes,"Portia said if we go out I have to look the part…"she added, twirling around.

"You look amazing.."he said seriously, and she blushed.

"Come on, you…"she grabbed his hand, pulling him downstairs.

"Where are we going?"he asked her, and she grinned mischievously.

"To a club…"she said excitedly, and he looked a little concerned.

"You're not 21…"she held up her fake license, and Mason frowned.

"You're sure…"he asked.

"Oh, definitely…I need to drink off something of this proportion.."she told him, donning her sunglasses as they walked out into the city.

A few hours later, they were both drunk at a bar downtown, enjoying themselves.

"We should do this more often Mason.."Jude said happily, leaning against him. He had his arm around her shoulders to keep her from falling off the stool.

"You doin' okay?" the bartender asked them, and they both nodded.

"You think we should get back?"he asked, glancing at his cellphone. She shook her head.

"Where's the fun in that Fox? Don't you want to live a little?" Jude asked, pulling him out onto the dance floor and dancing with him, pulling him towards her.

"I'm so glad you're my friend, Mason.."she said softly,"I don't know how I'd be surviving right now…"

"Mind if I cut in?" his voice was soft, and she glanced up at Mason, who was looking to her for approval.

"I think I need to talk to him…"she told him softly, and Mason nodded, kissing her forehead and stepping away.

"Do you wanna meet me back at the hotel?"he questioned, and she nodded, watching him leave. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. But he felt so farmilliar. Looping her arms around his neck she refused to look at him, pouting at the situation. She didn't need Tommy in her life anymore, despite the fact that even ten seconds around him turned her legs to jello.

"You're drunk…"Tommy noticed, and she shot him an annoyed look, laying her head on his shoulder as a slow song came on.

"You noticed? Been doing a lot of this lately…"she said softly, clinging to him. It felt right. As much as she wanted to deny it.

"You don't need to be doing this to yourself…it's not the answer…"he said softly, and pulled back to look up at him, her gaze cold but honest.

"It's the perfect answer for how you left me…there's not much left from who I once was, so grab it while you can…"she said quietly, and pulled him closer.

"I didn't want to go…" he said into her hair. She was so angry at herself. She was melting under the pressure of being so close to him.

"You could have fooled me…"she said, inhaling his scent.

"It's complicated…and I want to explain it to you…you wanna go sit down.."he asked, and she shook her head, glancing at her watch.

"Can we just go back to the hotel? I have a dress fitting in the morning with your ex wife…"she responded, stumbling a little.

"Whoa, girl.."he said gently, choosing to ignore her comment, and put his arm around her shoulders, guiding her out the door and down the street.

"I really thought I loved you…you know that?"Jude said suddenly, and glanced over at him. He stared at her, incredulous.

"Jude…I didn't leave because I didn't…"

"I know…you know that's the funny part…"she said softly, and he stopped, staring at her.

"Jude…" they were inches apart again, Jude leaning against him for support. She tried to get away, almost fell, and he held her steady.

"Jude you can't just walk off…I'm not letting you go back to the hotel by yourself…"he said to her, and she met his eyes, tears in them. She hated this. She hated him. She hated loving him.

"Stop saying my name you're breaking my resolve…"she said, trying to get away again. They both glanced up at the group of girls walking towards them.

"Oh no…"Jude murmered, knowing what was about to happen. It was like that day in high school all over again,"Tommy…"she warned, pointing down the sidewalk.

"Oh my God it's Tommy Quincy!" someone shrieked, and he looked at her in a panic.

"Can you run right now?"he asked her seriously, and she frowned, yelling aloud when he picked her up and started running, Jude flailing her arms about.

"Tommy what the hell are you doing! Put me down!"she screeched, glaring at him when he set her down in his hotel room ten minutes later, bolting the door. They both cracked up, and fell back on the bed, Tommy gasping for breath.

"Were you a marathon runner before you joined Boyz Attack Quincy?"she asked seriously.

"What can I say, I'm full of secrets…"he said, and she laughed softly.

"I forgot that you have mobs of crazed former 90's teenagers chasing you around wherever you go…"she pointed out.

"It's not funny…"he grumbled.

"It is.."she said, a small smile on her face.

"Is this funny?" he asked her seriously, and started tickling her mercilessly.

"Tommy! Stop!" she said, gasping. He was on top of her, staring at her seriously. She felt like he was burning her with his gaze.

"Jude…"he murmured, and she kissed him softly, her arms flinging around his neck.

"We can't…I can't…"she thought for a moment, and launched herself at him,"Fuck it…"she said, more to herself then him, and grabbed his face, pulling him towards her.

When his hands moved to her waist, he gazed at her expectantly. She nodded, and kissed him again, pushing his shirt off of his shoulders as they continued to kiss, their breath laboured.

"We shouldn't…"he gasped, panting. Her eyes started to fill with tears, but she pushed them down, staring over at him, their chests rising and falling rapidly.

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't care, Quincy….."she said finally, shoving her tounge in his mouth to shut him up. Needless to say, it worked.

Jude woke up to the sound of her cellphone ringing, her head pounding.

"Ugh…"she reached her arm out, and it hit something solid. And then she realized she was naked.

"Oh my god…oh my god…"she breathed, as Tommy began to stir, curling his arm around her waist to pull her closer.

"Where are you going?"he murmured softly, his eyes meeting hers.

"Shower…"she said, and pecked him on the lips before getting up and darting towards the bathroom, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She had a hickey on her collarbone near her shoulder, and she touched it lightly. He hadn't denied anything. It was like she was in a dream or something.

"Jude?" he peaked his head in the door, his eyes meeting hers,"You mind if we share?"she shook her head, and hugged him tightly, her head on his chest.

"It's fine.."she turned on the water, suddenly not so self conscious. He'd seen everything now. And he was still here. There was something so wrong with this. she thought, as he pulled her into the shower with him, kissing her softly.

Her stomach grumbled uncomfortably, and she laughed softly, glancing up at him.

"How come you got the bigger room?"she asked suddenly,"That suite Mason and I are sharing is so not as big…oh my god…Mason must be freaking out…"she realized, rinsing her hair out and glancing over at him. He was staring at her, a small smile on her face.

"What are you thinking?" she questioned, and put her hands on his shoulders.

"Nothing.."he said softly, leaning forward and kissing her temple.

"You're supposed to meet Portia for dress fittings…"he reminded her,"It's on the schedule…"

"Eww….dress fittings…"she made a face, and he heard a knock on the door.

"Hey! Tommy!" it was Kwest, and they locked eyes.

"Just…stay in here…"he said under his breath, as the door opened.

"He has a key you gave Kwest a key!"she said, more in anger towards him.

"Dude, I'm in the shower!" Tommy called, shielding Judes body by facing her. She glanced up at him, her hands on his chest, hoping to god that the bathroom was steamy enough.

"There's a girl in there…isn't there?"Kwest said, and Jude smacked her forehead.

"You threw my clothes all over the room…"she reminded him, and he glanced down at her.

"Couldn't help myself, girl…"he said, and kissed her softly, his hands pulling her closer to him.

"Tommy! Dude!"he spun around, glad the shower had the frosted glass, and opened the door a bit, poking his head out.

"Kwest, dude…get outta my room…" he said between clenched teeth.

"They can't find Jude…" she had fallen over when he spun around, and was sitting on the floor in his shower, her head in her hands. How the hell was she supposed to explain this.

"She's fine…Kwest.." Tommy said, and Jude winced.

"What is she the girl?"he said, realizing,"Tommy…"

"Guilty.."Jude said, sticking her head out beneath Tommys. This was bad. Really, really bad.

"Oh…my god…"he breathed, staring at them. To an outsider the situation would have looked funny. But too all of them it seemed pretty serious.

"You can't tell…just tell Darius she fell asleep in the living room of the suite last night…"Tommy said to him,"And she'll be ready in 30 minutes.

"I can dictate my only getting ready time, thank you very much…"Jude muttered under her breath, and squealed when Tommy poked her, trying to look above her head.

"I'm going to get you back for that…"she told him seriously, and he grinned.

'I'm looking forwards to that…"he said, and she hit him.

"Gross, Tommy…"she said under her breath, and they both glanced back at Kwest. Neither one of them had been this happy in almost a year. And he noticed.

"I've got your back, guys…"he said simply, and walked out. Jude frowned.

"Kwest…it just happened…we didn't plan…"Jude called, as he closed the door.

"I really really really should get ready…before Portia catches me making the walk of shame out of YOUR bedroom…"she told him, pulling a towel around her and searching for her clothes. This had been a bad idea from the start. A very very bad idea.

"The walk of shame?" he questioned, coming up behind her and kissing her shoulder gently.

"If you start doing that neither one of us is ever going to leave this room…Little Tommy Q…"she teased, sticking her tounge out at him, and reaching for her clothes, which were lying on the floor.All over the floor.

"Do you want to go to dinner?" he asked her suddenly, and she spun around, already in her underwear and searching for her dress.

"Um…sure…Tommy…"she said vaguely, her mind clearly on something else.

"What's on your mind?" he asked her, as she slid the dress over her head.

"How can you read me so well?" she asked back, leaning against the door, her shoes in her hand.

"I know you…"he responded, and kissed her forehead,"Six, okay? Just meet me up here…and just wear jeans…"he said, and she nodded.

"Okay…."she said, and kissed him softly before leaving the room and coming face to face with someone she hadn't seen in months.

Oh ho.

That's it for now.

Sorry it took so long for me to update…

Love you all,

Jena


	5. Chapter 5

I don't know where the next Road Goes

Jena Rink

( there may be a rated m scene...for the last chapter...if you want me to post it let me know and i will...)

Kisses and thanks for the reviews!

Jena

"Ah! Shay! Hi!" she threw her arms around his neck, and kissed his cheek.

"Hey, Harrison…you're hairs all wet…"he noticed, staring at Tommy's door. She could ready Shay like a book, and she knew what he was thinking.

"Tommy let me take a shower in his room…I fell asleep in there last night…"she wavered at his look,"On the couch…Shay Shay…what are you doing here?"

"Grammy's? Clothing fittings….Portia's on the rampage you're like an hour late…have you checked your messages lately?"he asked her, and she pulled her phone out of her clutch, frowning.

"I think I may have turned it off last night…I was a little…"she trailed off, walking down the hallway towards her room.

"Are you forgetting about the photo shoot too? It's in like an hour.." Shay reminded her, and she rolled her eyes.

"God I need some poptarts…"she grumbled,"And coffee…."she pulled on jeans, and didn't notice Mason sitting on her bed.

"So…you're home early..or kind of late…depending on how you look at it…"he said, and handed her a shirt to wear.

"Yeah…well..let's talk about it over lunch we only have an hour till the photo shoot.."Jude said softly, and he nodded, following her out the door.

"Here are your poptarts and coffee Ms. Harrison…" Tommy joked, holding them out at the door.

"God Tommy you're a lifesaver…thank you…"she said, and took a bite of the poptart, grinning in delight as they got in the limo.

"I really could get used to riding around in limos.."Kwest commented, and Sadie snorted, taking a sip of her latte.

When they walked in the door they were pushed into chairs, stylists messing with their hair and faces. Then it was off to wardrobe, where Jude was put into a white ballgown, given a red guitar, and set up next to Tommy for the cover of Entertainment Weekly.

"Jude..."he breathed from behind her, and she jumped about a mile in the air, clutching the guitar.

"Hi…she said, laughing slightly and staring at him, "Wow…"she added, and he grinned,"Oh don't get too cocky…"she told him slyly.

"You don't look so bad yourself, pop princess…"he joked, and she rolled her eyes.

"Please tell me they aren't putting that on the cover…"she moaned,"I'll never live that down.."

"You're talking to Little Tommy Q here…"he reminded her, and she grinned, her eyes widening at the crown and tiara they brought in.

"Actually it's going to be called Rock and Roll Royalty…"he told her, and she took a sip of the bottle of water he handed her.

"This is going to be so much fun…"she said giddily, and he laughed at her.

"What, Quincy?"she said, as the music started to play, and he grinned before running at her.

"Oh my God Tommy stop!" Jude squealed, laughing hysterically. He set her down gently, and their eyes met.

"Okay…tilt your head just like that, and put her arms around her like this..."the photographer explained, and Jude leant back into him, yawning slightly. Four hours later the fun was starting to wear off.

"Just one more hour, girl…"Tommy reminded her, and she sat down while they took a break on a couch in another part of the photography studio, Tommy behind her.

"Mmmm wake me up in five minutes…"

"Ten…"Tommy yawned, and they fell asleep next to eachother, much like they had six months ago on Jude's birthday. She woke up to the sound of a flash, and grinned up at Tommy, not realizing the photographer was there.

"Hey…sleepy head…"she laughed softly when he opened his eyes, smiling down at her.

"Hi…"he mumbled sleepily, combing through her hair, which was in loose curls for the shoot. They both shot apart when the photographer took another picture.

"We're done for the day…"she told them,"Those last few photos were great…."she added enthusiastically, and bounded off.

"Anybody around?"she asked, and he kissed her gently.

"I don't care…"he said, after they broke apart,"Go home and get ready for dinner…I'll see you at six…I have to make a few phone calls…"he kissed her temple, and got up, walking towards the door.

Tell me what you think...

Jena :)


	6. I dont know where this plane ride goes

I don't know where the next road goes

I'm not sure where this plane ride goes?

Jena Rink

July 15, 2006

Hey guys, sorry it's been so long I've been way busy my life is CRAZY! I have to head to rehearsal, but love y'all, have a great day!

Jena

And I don't own instant star….ps…lol

He sat on the edge of the bed in his room, glancing at the clock nervously as he sat on the phone.

"Daddy! Today Allie took me to the movies to see Over the Hedge, and then to see the Horsies at Amandas! And Uncle Chaz bought me a teddy bear! And we're having pizza for dinner!" Addie burst out, giggling, and Tommy sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"So you're having fun?" he asked her, and she laughed. Her laugh was so innocent. It made Tommy want to go back and do everything over in his life again, if only he could laugh like that.

"Uncle Chaz wants to talk to you…"she said seriously, and passed the phone over, Tommy tapping his foot impatiently.

"She's going to be impossible to handle when we move if you keep spoiling her like that…did you find me a house?" he asked tiredly, glancing at the door of his hotel room nervously. Jude would be up any second.

"Did you talk with Jude?" Chaz questioned, and Tommy sighed.

"We did more than talk…"he said finally, looking at his watch again.

"You what?" Chaz asked in disbelief, "Tommy she's 17…"

"You think I don't know that?" Tommy asked angrily, and his head snapped up at the knock on the door.

"I have to go…just…keep Addie busy until the Grammy's are over, keep packing, and I'll call you in the morning, okay?" he said quickly, as Jude cracked his door open, peeking in.

"Tommy?" she asked, and spotted him.

"Tell her that then…goodbye Chaz…"he hung up, and turned to face her, freezing in his tracks.

She was in a faded pair of jeans and a button up white shirt, her hair in soft curls around her face.

"You look beautiful…"he said simply, and kissed her on the forehead lightly.

"It's just jeans and a white shirt Quincy…it's not couture…" she joked lightly, hugging him against her and grabbing his hand in his. She was nervous. Way too nervous.

"Something going on?" he asked her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, and she shook her head as her phone vibrated, making her jump.

"N-Nothing…"he mumbled, faking a smile, and pulling him out the door.

"So where are we going?" she changed the subject abruptly, sliding her hands in her back pockets as they got in the elevator.

"It's a surprise…"he said, his eyes dancing with excitement.

Besides the phone call, he'd spent the entire afternoon planning their date. He opened the door of a limo for her, and she stared at him in astonishment, before sliding in, Tommy getting in next to her.

"You're flights all set up Mr. Quincy…"the driver said, and he nodded silently. Jude turned and stared at him in shock.

"Wha-"

"We have two days off, Jude…before Portia needs you for anything at all…I cleared it with her…" Tommy told her, and she nodded, glancing back at her phone, which had another text message.

"You're quite the popular one…" Tommy said, as her phone started to ring again. She silenced it, and leant further into him.

"So are you going to tell me where we're jetting off to?" she asked him softly,trying to change the subject again.

"That, is a surprise as well…" he said, as they pulled up to an airfield, getting out and staring at the jet in shock.

"Quincy…"Jude said, in awe, and he grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the stairs.

"Just try and relax…you're really tense, girl…"he told her, and she swallowed, glancing at the unknown number on her cellphone again. She knew exactly who it was. And her past was about to catch up to her whether she liked it or not.

Okay, seriously I wanna apologize for spacing these updates out so much! But I love you guys, and please review it!

Jena 


	7. Waiting

This is SO short.  
I'm sorry. In advance and all.  
And it'll all be explained in the next chapter, promise!

I stared at the phone, my hands shaking, and flinched at the gun pressing against my temple. When had things gotten so messed up? I heard it cick, and dialed quickly, waiting anxiously.

Four weeks could certainly fly by, especially when you are being held hostage by a raging psycho. It rang twice before he picked up, and I handed the phone to Bryce wordlessly, as he put it on speaker phone, taking the gun off my head. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hello?" Tommy asked tiredly, and I could hear the stress in his voice. it made tears flood my eyes, and Bryce stared at me, willing me to keep quiet.

"Mr. Quincy, it's good to finally talk to you..."he responded,"She was less than forthcoming with your private line...but don't worry...I got her to cooperate in the end..."

I felt the tears stinging my cheeks, with were dry as it was, and tried to fight them back without success.

"Who the hell are you you sick son of a bitch-"he ground out, but was interrupted.

"I wouldn't say that to the man that has your girl, Mr. Quincy..." I opened my mouth to say something, and he punched me, causing me to cry out as the pain ran across my jawline quickly.

"You have my attention..."Tommy said softly, closing a door behind him.

"Are you alone?" he asked, and Tommy made some sort of sign you could take as a yes.

"You have thirty seconds..."he handed the phone to me, and my eyes widened.

"Tom?" I asked softly, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Are you okay?" he asked, and I bit my lip.

"I...yeah..."I got out, my voice wavering.

"Tommy I didn't leave on my own-" he cut me off, sounding as if he was about to cry himself.

"I know that girl...I always knew that...I'm gonna get you out of there okay?" he said, and I choaked back a sob.

"I love you..."I said softly, and his voice shook a little. He was trying so hard to be strong, and it broke my heart.

"I love you too, Jude...always..."he said softly, and I cried out as he yanked the phone away.

"$50,000 Mr. Quincy. Midnight. The docks. Or I kill her..."he hung up, and smiled at me.

"Looks like you might get to go home after all..."he remarked, and i spit in his face, wincing as he hit me, kicking me in the stomach.

"You're too worthless to be saved...it's a wonder he's coming for you at all..."he spat at me, and left me alone in the room to cry, curled up in a ball.

I had a feeling this would end badly. Very, Very badly.

(if you're all wondering where THIS came from...the next chapter sort of goes back in time and explains it)  
Excuse my negligance in updating.  
Love you all  
jena


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